Putting the Fun in Dysfunctional

I will never understand why seniors have to be so incredibly difficult! Really, is it so hard to accept the help and care you need in order to live a healthy life for your last years?

Well, I don't know if all seniors are this way but my Oma sure is. My Opa has Alzheimer's and it is a brutal disease, but we are thankful he has not forgotten faces/names, but his short term memory is bad. He spent almost a month in the hospital due to a massive heart attack, pneumonia, bladder infection and blood infection. It wouldn't have gotten to the point it did if Oma had told someone Opa wasn't feeling good, or let the paramedics take him to the ER the first time they were called... rather than the third.

Since he does have Alzheimer's and some mobility issues, Respite care and home care were arranged. This should allow Oma a bit of a break, to go get her weekly shopping done and Opa can go for a walk and to activities at the building with the respite worker. Someone will also come each morning and help him shower, shave and get dressed.

Sound nice doesn't it? Not just for Opa, but Oma too. She could relax and be thankful for the help. But, alas she turns the workers away and tells them not to come. Well, with Respite care.. it's a one shot deal. If you turn them away too many times, they cancel the agreement and you can't get them back. Oma's turned them away three times now of the four times they've been there. The family had to beg the respite center to come back. How sad, right?

I don't know how to get it through to her that she NEEDS to let these people do their jobs, not just for Opa's benefit, but for her's too. She KNOWS she can't take care of him & herself, it's just too much. So why can't she accept the help? I know she's taken care of them all of her life pretty much, but it's time to sit back and let people help. I've tried everything I can think of to get through to her. But it always fails and I'm beside myself about it. I don't want Opa to suffer because of her selfish attitude. He deserves the best possible care there is. She does too, but right now she doesn't need that kind of care.

I'm desperate to find a way to make her allow the workers in and to let them do what they show up to do. Some how someone has to be able to get through that thick head of hers. .

Sweet jesus I hope I'm not like her when I'm old..